Tips for Making a Long Distance Relationship Work

Written by mattb on November 2nd, 2010

So you met that girl or boy and fell in love. Realized you finally found the right person and then poof, they move away. In my case, they move back home.

I met my girlfriend at university while she was studying on an exchange from Mexico City. After 3 months of dating, niether of us really thought it was going to work out simply because we lived so far apart. I was also partaking on a 6 month trip to Australia to full-fill one of my many life long dreams in a couple months.

She left for home right before christmas and I thought that was the last time we would see each other. As christmas passed, I realized how much I missed her and decided to connect via Skype. Skype was great because it not only allowed us to talk for free but it also allowed us to see each other via video. This made us feel much closer to each other and before I left to Australia, I made a quick trip to Mexico City to see her again.

The trip was amazing. Visiting a massive city like Mexico City is an incredible experience. Different food, culture, pyramids, and best of all, my girlfriend. After this visit, I realized more and more that I didn’t want to lose her but that I also had to complete this Australian trip that had been on my mind for years.

We agreed to stay together as long as we talked as often as possible and I left for my journey down under. 6 months is a long time to be apart but I made sure to get into every internet cafe I could and talk to her on Skype. Most internet kiosks had Skype enabled plus webcams and headphones. This made it easy for us and after 6 months, I returned and went back to Mexico City for another visit.

Fast forward 2 years, we still live apart but are quickly closing that gap. It’s very difficult to only see each other 1 week out of every 4-5 months but it has worked for us so far. When her computer wasn’t working, I bought Skype credit to call her house. Now in January of 2011, she is finally moving up to Canada to be with me.

If your in a long-distance relationship or about to start one, your probably wondering how it will work and the tools that can make it easier.

For tools, I definitely recommend:

Downloading Skype, Fring, or another similar product of your choice. Maybe try out a few and decide which one works best for you. For me, Skype worked great although the video and voice can sometimes be pretty shitty. Some of that depends on the internet connection though.
If your going to be talking to each other via the same application, it’s free! but if you need to call them at their house or cellphone, then your going to need to buy credit. For calls from Canada to Mexico with Skype, it only worked out to about 1 cent per minute or $8/month for unlimited.
Get yourself a webcam if it’s not already embedded into your computer. Listening to your loved one is great but seeing them creates more intimacy and makes you feel much closer.
If you don’t have a built-in mic, then you will need one of these as well. They range in price but can be quite cheap. If you think you will be in a noisy area like internet cafes, you might as well invest in a mic and headphones so you can hear each other much more clearly. (check to see if the cafe has one first)
If you own a smartphone, make use of the free Skype or other voip related applications. Now you can talk to each other even when your away from home and send each other messages via FaceBook or SMS.

Those are definitely the best tools for starters. If your traveling and don’t have access to internet cafes, then try a calling card. Those can be quite good as well when around landlines, pay-phones, or cell phones.

Here are some more great tips for making the relationship work:

Decide on a time-frame for when you will see each other again and when one of you can possibly move away from home to be closer. Not having a time frame creates the feeling that nothing will ever happen and that will make the relationship slowly break down.
Realize it will be tough but commit to each other and stay truthful. Make sure to keep in contact often if not daily and talk to each other as if they were next to you.
Make use of email as well. Letters are still romantic even in email form and you can send pictures to each other as well.
Hang in there. If you really think you have something special, then do whatever you can to make it work. Talk lots and use video. Send cards and lots of emails. Be loyal and trust them. Know that one day, one of you will need to leave home for another country in order to be together so if that’s not an option for either of you, you might as well break it off now.

I hope you enjoyed these tips for long distance relationships. If you have any other questions, feel free to contact me here.

Otherwise, post comments below. Adios!

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